Return to Refuge

I return. I've taken refuge here on Mount Ephraim once more. I do this because the outside world is no longer safe for me. Because I can no longer be myself out there.

Being in a position of leadership, one has to watch his words. I never gave that a second thought because I thought I was free to speak my mind. So speak my mind I did, and it now drew ire from some people. I received a gentle reprimand (but a reprimand nonetheless).

I have a temper. But the damndest thing is that none of the few things I've done in anger raised eyebrows. It was being misunderstood that did it. I've thrown a comment here and there on my opinion on a show or a movie. I bleat out a few wisecracks in an attempt to build rapport, but only end up stepping on toes and wounding feelings.


Fine then. So be it. I am to mask myself, because a leader should endear himself to his charges. I shall keep mum on the more controversial issues and just let my feelings loose in here, under the veil of anonymity. This isn't the first time I've resorted to doing this.


Back in the day, I was a serial blogger on Multiply. I would blog about unrequited love, my passion for what my adolescent mind would term "kickass", and of course, my anger-fueled tirades. Before long, it attracted controversy and trouble. It was there that I learned to temper my rants into more controlled and deliberate prose. Of course, I've never lost the taste for full-on balls-out ranting.


Being censored is not an alien thing to me. While I've always been rather opinionated, I've always found an outlet for my words. So wrapping myself up in a bland, politically-correct visage is nothing new to me.


I do understand. In a professional setting, one must act professional. I wasn't. Well, I shan't make that mistake again. Under the lush trees and deep caverns of Mount Ephraim, I can scream the most ecstatic praises or the vilest curses to my heart's content. There is security to be found here. I can eat of the trees' fruit. I can drink from the streams and underground rivers. I can dwell in the caverns and slumber beneath the shade of the leaves. Here, I am safe. Here, I am home.