The Sky is Falling

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So I heard you have a boyfriend now. LAWL.

To the poor guy: ENJOY YOUR FAIL!

Srsly, dude. This chick is as flat as a surfboard and has the personality of a fucking rock. She was a loser back in college, and only knew half her block. I don't think she was on regular speaking terms with any of them. Her life makes mine look heroic. I was blind, but now I see.

The blind man in question now, sir, is you. I hope you can join me as well. Perhaps some day. We shall have many a laugh over some whiskey. Until then, I mock the both of you with derisive impunity.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And as for you, bitch, what the hell. Seriously, what the hell? Just how the heck did this all happen? What did you do to him? How did you manage to blind another?

Our mutual friend was right. Just what is it about you? You have this steady stream of guys following you around. Moreso as of late. Maybe the thought of a quiet, nerdy girl suddenly drinking and maybe even putting-out is quite a turn-on. It's morbid curiosity. But my disdain for you will keep this controlled and subjugated, and will remain a passing, transient thought.

No matter. You don't matter. No, not anymore. Backstabbing two-faced slut.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, seriously though. YOU have a boyfriend now? Damned that you were first before me, but whatever. It would be obvious the guy is desperate. If not, well then...I'm not sure whether to blame his stupidity, his failing senses, or your deception.

You icy whore. I hope the guy's cock doesn't freeze up and fall off when it touches your glacial pussy. Well, actually, I do. Lol.

Enjoy your lifetime of fail. The guy's gonna be so pissed years down the road, like 'WTF WAS I THINKING?!' We'll be long gone by then.