Chris-chan: Thoughs and Lessons

My girlfriend was right. I was getting a bit too obsessed with Chris-chan (aka. The Mistake of God).

I dreamt I was being forced by my father to finally earn my black belt in TKD and finish the damn thing (currently a brown belt, then moved on to boxing - while also trained in grappling at the same time, then finally to Muay Thai; haven't attended a single class in TKD in over two years). And as I was on my way to the gym, CWC got magically transported to where I was. Though in my dream, he wasn't the monster that he is in reality. He was more pitiful than anything. Smaller than me, much younger and smaller too. Not threatening at all. Very much like a kid. It's as if his inner self were there.

You know it's serious when it starts appearing in your dreams. Is this pathetic or what?

What attracts me, as well as thousands others, to observing the incredible Chris-chan is the same thing people crowd around a train wreck or a circus freak show. This guy is a walking disaster and a sight to behold, like a light jolt to your senses. His life was squandered away, and it's all because of his refusal to take responsibility for a single thing in his life. This is the extent the damage of a very flawed mindset can do. Hundreds of thousands of dollars wasted on junk. Alienated friends. The hopes and dreams of his guardians dashed to pieces. (I remember reading his teacher's birthday note to him. That killed me.) Becoming the laughingstock of the world. It's all too fascinating, the heart-rending sadness of the situation notwithstanding, though it may be lost on most of you at this point.

At the same time, it is to me an inexpensive form of therapy. Aside from a way of showing myself how NOT to live life, I can, in the midst of a proverbial shitstorm, at the lowest point of my life, still pat myself on the back, tell myself to fix me a drink and cheer up - I'm not Chris-chan after all. And my problems will seem so insignificant all of a sudden. My shortcomings won't be so glaring anymore. Everything falls into perspective. Things could always be much, much worse. And yet they aren't. So rejoice.

This would not be complete if I fail to mention that loathing simmering maliciously in the back of my mind as I look on with relish at how much he further ruins his life. The schadenfreude many of us soak in is unmistakable and undeniable. Even the most valiant of White Knights and moralfags will admit to feeling a quantum of repulsion and contempt. Anybody who briefly browses through his life would.

There's like this hauntingly funereal tune that follows in his wake of destruction. Like he's some sort of plague from the Almighty inflicted upon the human populace, perhaps as punishment for displeasing Him. In the midst of our scramble after the comforts of life and trappings of wealth, this creature was released, perhaps a warning to us who live for comfort and despise the daily struggles of life and even daring to think that there is an end to the bitterness of life. A message on what will happen should we disregard reason altogether and cavort about in abandon.

In painting Chris as a warning to the most of us, however, (thereby to an extent putting him on the same level as us) I'm wrong. Chrissy is the very opposite of a driven man. He burrows into his little world of garishly-colored little trinkets and manky sex, refusing to push himself and blaming his shortcomings, subsequent or preexisting, on his Autism, on his parents, on his country, on God. Everyone else but him. He knows nothing of true struggle. The value of money is lost on this simpleton, as is the value of his fellow man.

Christian Weston Chandler has entertained us for years now, and perhaps for many more to come (assuming he hasn't jumped the shark yet). And it's all good clean fun, relatively speaking. We point and laugh and mock, and retire, savoring that warm, comforting thought that despite everything, we are not Chris-chan, and we never will be. Life is good, sure. But in the midst of all the fun and festivities of Kick The Autistic, it is my wish that we do not end up wasting our time as well and, to an extent, end up like the Godforsaken Manchild himself.

It would be a shame to witness such a horrifying spectacle, and go on about life as if nothing happened at all. We have all heard of the saying, "It could be that your one purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." Some of us have seen or used it on demotivational posters. Well, that is Chris-chan's purpose: LOLCow and everpresent warning against sloth, against cowardice, against stupidity, and against refusing to grow the fuck up.

Christian Chandler is a disgrace to his parents, his state, and his country. But the greater shame would be for us to see all this, and yet continue to live in folly and ignorance. Should that happen, who then is the greater fool?

Selah.


"Chris-chan: The ultimate cure for depression and bad moods everywhere. Whenever you're feeling down, all you need to do is remember one thing: YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER.

Life. Is. Awesome. XD"

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For the uninitiated and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about:

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Chris
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Frequently_Asked_Questions